E11 The Fear of Putting Yourself Out There
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https://www.virginialeighstudio.com
The Fear is Real, But So is the Reward
I have a question for you. What’s scarier than a horror movie? How about posting your work online and waiting for someone—anyone—to like it.
Seriously. Hitting “publish” on that first post, opening your website to the world, or—even worse—going live on video? That’s the stuff of nightmares for a lot of creatives.
I get it. Putting yourself out there feels vulnerable. What if nobody likes it? What if someone does like it, but then asks a question I don’t know how to answer? What if I embarrass myself?
Been there. More times than I can count.
The first time I launched my website? SO BAD. It was cluttered, awkward, and I had no idea what I was doing. But I did it anyway.
The first time I went live on Facebook? Cringeworthy. I was stiff, awkward, and I’m pretty sure I blinked and cleared my throat more times than I can count.
The first time I recorded a class? Let’s just say, if I ever need a reminder of how far I’ve come, I have that video. It was bad. I mean, really bad. The lighting, the sound, the fact that I kept saying “um” every five seconds.
And let’s not forget my very first live Zoom Q&A—where my clear plastic ruler literally sprang out of my hands and slapped me in the face. On camera. In front of paying students. I can still hear the thwap it made.
But you know what? Every single one of those moments got me here. Every awkward first time, every “ugh, that was terrible” experience, every cringe-worthy attempt—it all built the confidence I have now.
Because the truth is, visibility isn’t about being “good enough” right away. It’s about giving yourself the space to get better.
And the only way to get better? Well, ya have to start.
Today, we’re talking about the fear of putting yourself out there, why it’s so hard, and—most importantly—how to push through it so you can share your work, build your confidence, and connect with the right people.
So here are 3 of the Biggest Fears we as creatives tend to have..
And you know what’s funny? You’ve probably heard all of these fears before. A hundred times. Maybe even a thousand. But sometimes, we need to hear something for the umpteenth time before it finally clicks. So, here we go—because if you’re hesitating to put your work out there, I can almost guarantee one of these is lurking in the back of your mind.
The first one is: “I’m not good enough.” I’m not “fill in the black” enough --(Well Hello, Imposter Syndrome.)
This one’s a classic. Who am I to do this? Other people are already doing it, and my stuff isn’t as good as theirs! This probably sound quite familiar, right? I often ask myself “How many times am I going to have to hear this “imposter syndrome” thing before it’s no longer a thing???
Well, Let me break something to you: everyone—literally everyone—feels this at some point in time. Even pros. Even the ones you admire. It’s NEVER going to go away. It’s a natural emotion that is hardwired in. It’s not goin’ anywhere, ever!
But The difference? The difference between the pros, the people who do the thing we want to do and us? They don’t let it stop them. They see it, they acknowledge it. They say “Hey imposter syndrome. Good to see you again. Have a seat. Be with you in a sec.” And then - they proceed to do the thing.
“Nerves” before a big presentation? Normal.
Trepidation before sharing something new? Also normal.
Feeling like a total fraud for even attempting something? Yep. Normal.
Hate to say it, but in this case, you’re not special. (I say that with love!) We all go through it. To some degree, everyone experiences it!
I had 30 years of experience in the garment industry. Thirty. Years. I climbed that ladder, I knew my stuff inside and out. I was Confident—with a capital C. But then I stepped out on my own, and suddenly, I was a beginner again.
I hadn’t done mixed media collage before! What if people thought my designs were terrible? (Spoiler: they kinda were at first.) I had no idea what to say on video. I had to learn everything from scratch, and let me tell you—having to start at the bottom again is a massive ego check. But I did it anyway. And that’s the only way to move forward. You MUST take that first step, even without confidence.
The second fear is: “People will judge me.”
Spoiler alert: You’re right - some will. But guess what? Others will LOVE what you do. But most? Most won’t care either way. A HUGE majority won’t care either way.
And that is both good and bad news.
The internet can be a snarky place. There are people who live to criticize, and almost always, it has nothing to do with you. It’s about them. Their own insecurities. Their own dissatisfaction with what they wish they could do but are too afraid to attempt. The fact that you ARE doing it shines a light on that, which scares them and makes them lash out.
I once had someone comment—word for word—“That piece is disgusting! It looks like a deformed octopus, and you shouldn’t put things like that out for others to see.” End quote
I had a friend who got an email from someone in her community who said they had to leave because she misspelled a word in her email, and—get this—that just wasn’t professional enough for them. Imagine quitting an entire creative community because of one typo. We’re human for pete’s sake.
If someone wants to be unhappy, let them. That’s their choice. Let them go. They are not your people. There is nothing you can do to fix whatever’s going on inside them, and no amount of shrinking yourself will make them happy.
Do not engage. Do not reply. Just delete—and move on.
The third fear is: “What if no one even notices?”
This used to terrify me and still does to some extent. It kinda depends on where and when it happens. But now? I’m learning to embrace this one. It’s actually not as scary as it sounds.
Because honestly? This is kinda the best-case scenario for beginners.
Why might I say that? Because it gives you time to practice without pressure.
You know all those horrible firsts I told you about? The first website, the first cringeworthy Facebook Live, the first terrible video?
Guess what? No one saw them. Well, I don’t know if that’s completely true, but very few people saw them.
Just me. (Now quite a few people saw the ruler incident.)
That’s the thing. When you put your work out there in the beginning, it’s not like the entire world is waiting to analyze it. You are not stepping onto a stage with a spotlight. It’s more like tossing a tiny message in a bottle into a giant ocean.
And the beautiful thing? It will never be as bad as you fear.
Your first post, your first project, your first attempt—it lives out there for a while, quietly, until you put out your second thing, which will be better. Then your third thing – even better still. Then your fourth. See the pattern?
You’re building your skillset as you go. My favorite thing to tell myself is this: “I’m going to do it now. That way, I will never have to do this, for the first time, ever again.”
But here’s the catch—you do have to start.
If you don’t, no one will EVER see your work. You won’t EVER build confidence. You won’t EVER get better.
The first time is always the hardest. It’s like pancakes. The first one is always a little wonky. But once you do it? You never have to do that “first” ever again. And the next one will be better.
But You know what the hardest part of putting yourself out there is? It’s not actually the doing part. It’s the overthinking, the fear, and the mental gymnastics we put ourselves through before we even take the first step. The longer you put something off, the scarier it seems to get…
And it’s even worse when you get to this time next year, and find yourself in exactly the same spot you are in today!!
But here’s the truth—most of the things holding us back? They’re happening in our own heads. So, let’s shift that.
The first thing to consider is: Your work isn’t for everyone—and that’s a good thing.
This one is huge.
Somewhere along the way, we all got this idea that we need to appeal to everyone. That if we put our work out there, it must be universally loved, or it’s not good enough.
But let me hit you with some math.
There are 8.3 billion people in the world.
Do you know what would happen if you tried to appeal to all of them? You’d lose yourself completely. And guess what? It still wouldn’t work. It’s impossible.
Now, let’s flip that.
Imagine walking into a room where every single person absolutely loves what you do. They get it. They appreciate it. They think like you. That’s your audience.
That’s who you should focus on.
Let the rest walk on through and out the other door. That’s fine. They were never going to be your people anyway. And trust me, the right people are out there. You only need a tiny fraction of 8.3 billion to have a thriving creative career.
Next, consider this: Perfection is the enemy of progress.
Okay, I’m not saying you should put out sloppy work and call it a day. Not at all. My reputation as an artist, an entrepreneur, and a mentor is on the line with everything I do.
But I also know this: done is better than perfect.
Perfectionism isn’t the high standard we think it is. It’s procrastination wearing a fancy outfit. It’s that little voice saying, “If I just tweak it a little more, THEN I’ll be ready.” And then… you never actually put it out there.
Here’s the truth: there is no such thing as perfect. Every artist, every creative, every entrepreneur has to decide when good enough is good enough. Do the best you can do, with the knowledge and skill you have today, and let it go. Then do it again. Then again.
I remind myself of this daily. The things I put out into the world today? I’ll probably look back at them in five years and cringe a little. And that’s a good thing. It means I’m growing.
Alrihgt, lastly: Rejection isn’t failure—it’s redirection (or protection, ask me how I know!).
This might be my favorite one.
Because let me tell you—I have had plenty of doors shut in my face. I have tried things that absolutely flopped. I have chased after opportunities, certain they were the right move, only to get a big fat NO.
And every single time?
Something better came along. Maybe not immediately, but in hindsight, I could see it clearly.
Release your work, analyze it, refine it, repeat. Try something, put it out there, learn from it, adjust, and do it again. That’s the entire creative process.
The first time I recorded a class? Not great. But I learned. I refined. I tried again.
The first time I designed a product? Could’ve been better. But I adjusted. I improved. I put it out again.
You don’t know what you don’t know. And the only way to figure it out? Do the thing. Learn from it, Do it again
And sometimes, rejection is just protection. It doesn’t feel like it in the moment, but trust me—if something doesn’t work out the way you wanted, there’s a good chance it wasn’t meant to work out that way. Often the rejection is leading you away from something that wasn;t in your best interests anyway.
Be patient. Keep moving forward. And pay attention—because often, what’s waiting around the corner is even better than what you were trying to force.
Alright, we’ve tackled the fears. We’ve talked about the mindset shifts that make this easier. Now, let’s talk about something practical—how to actually start sharing your work in a way that doesn’t feel terrifying.
Because I know, even after everything we’ve covered, you might still be sitting there thinking, “Okay, but HOW do I do it without completely freaking out?”
Here’s the good news: You don’t have to go all in at once.
Let’s break it down into small, no-stress ways you can start putting yourself out there today.
First - Start Small & Safe. The easiest way to start sharing your work? Make it casual. Don’t overthink it. No big announcements. No high-pressure launches. Just… share.
And one of the best ways to do that?
A simple, low-stakes post with something like: “Here’s what I’m working on today.”
That’s it.
No sales pitch. No deep explanation. Just a casual, “Look, I made a thing.”
You’ll be amazed at how much engagement those kinds of posts get. You’ll get comments like:
“Ooooh, that looks fun!”
“You’re so creative!”
“Yay, you!”
And guess what? Those tiny responses? They build confidence. They remind you that yes, people are interested in what you do. And that makes it easier to keep going.
Now, a quick word of caution: Be careful with asking for feedback.
If you genuinely want constructive feedback and are looking for direction, great—ask for it. But if you’re secretly hoping for nothing but “OMG, it’s amazing!”—you might be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Because the minute someone says, “Oh, I love it! But have you thought about changing that color?”—your brain might start spiraling into “See?! I knew I wasn’t good enough!”
So, before you post, be honest with yourself. Do you really want feedback? Or do you just need a little encouragement? If it’s the latter, reach out to trusted friends or family and say, “Hey, I could really use some positivity right now—can I share this with you?”
Second, try a Soft Launch Approach
If posting publicly feels like too much, start with a small, safe audience.
Share in a private group.
Send a picture to a trusted friend.
Post on your personal social media before moving to a business page.
This way, you’re easing into visibility without the pressure of a huge audience. And once you feel more comfortable? Then you can start expanding.
Third - Give Yourself a Low-Stakes Challenge
One of the best ways to get past the fear? Make it a game.
Set a small, achievable challenge for yourself, like:
“I’m going to post once a week for a month and see what happens.”
“I’m going to share three behind-the-scenes photos this month.”
“I’m going to DM one person I admire and tell them I love their work.”
This takes the pressure off because you’re not committing to forever. You’re just experimenting. Testing the waters. Seeing how it feels.
And by the time the month is up? You’ll have built a habit. You’ll be more comfortable. And you’ll realize that nothing bad happened—which makes it easier to keep going.
And finally, Find Your People
This one is huge.
Your family and friends might be supportive. They might cheer you on. But here’s the thing…
They don’t always understand what it means to be a creative putting yourself out there.
Sometimes, their support comes with a big side of fear-based caution.
“Oh, are you sure you want to post that?”
“What if people are mean?”
“Maybe wait until it’s perfect.”
They mean well. They don’t want to see you get hurt. But sometimes? That kind of support can actually hold you back.
Which is why you need a community of like-minded creatives. People who get it. People who have done it! People who understand the struggle of sharing your work online. People who can cheer you on and say, “Yes! Keep going! You’re doing great!”
Because it’s a whole lot easier to put yourself out there when you know you’re not doing it alone.
Here’s the thing: Fear never fully disappears. You don’t wake up one day magically fearless, suddenly overflowing with confidence. The difference between those who succeed and those who stay stuck? Action.
Confidence isn’t the prerequisite—it’s the result.
The more you show up, the more you realize: Hey, I can do this. And the more you do it, the easier it gets.
So here’s my challenge for you: Put something out there today.
Post a photo of what you’re working on.
Share a behind-the-scenes moment.
Tell a little story about your creative dreams.
Even if it’s small. Even if it’s imperfect. Because imperfect action will always move you forward faster than waiting for the perfect moment.
Your work—your voice, your ideas, your creativity—deserves to be seen.
And someone out there needs exactly what you have to offer.
So, if you take nothing else from this episode, take this: Start small. Start safe. Start now. Because the only way to get comfortable with visibility… is to start being visible.
Connect with Virginia:
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